How Sex Toys Have Become Tools for Healing, Connection and Empowerment

In collaboration with Sensuali

I’ve spent years working in the sexual wellness space, surrounded by toys, tech, and talk about desire and pleasure. And what I’ve learned about sex toys is that they’ve become vital instruments for healing, self-discovery, and connection.

For the first three years of my career, I immersed myself in the world of sexual health and wellness, partnering with some of the most forward-thinking sex tech brands in the industry. I tested, reviewed, and explored the innovations shaping the next generation of bedside essentials and what they reveal about how we experience pleasure.

I’ve watched sex toys move from being treated as taboo to being recognised as a bridge between body and mind, and even watched the evolution of influencers from all walks of life take part in promoting our vibey little friends. What I learnt personally and professionally, they’re not just about pleasure; they’re about exploration, support and access.

For some, a toy is the first step back into their body after pain, illness, or trauma. That’s exactly what they represented to me, and where my journey in this field began. They felt empowering and offered me access to pleasures I didn’t realise my body could experience as someone living with chronic pain.

When you think about it, a vibrator, a stroker or even a suction toy isn’t that different from a yoga mat or a journal. It’s a tool for awareness and self-discovery. It allows us to play, come back to ourselves, and there shouldn’t be any shame around that.

The shift we’re seeing, from hush-hush drawers to open conversations, tells me people are ready to redefine what pleasure means. And that’s what National Sex Toy Day should be about, not the products themselves, but the permission they represent to create change.

Pleasure as Healing

For years, conversations about sex toys were wrapped in shame or secrecy. Yet today, we’re seeing them used in clinical and therapeutic spaces to help people reconnect to their bodies after trauma, childbirth, or illness. We are witnessing fashion influencers and celebrities take centre stage in encouraging all of us to own our pleasure and, most of all, normalise pleasure as a vital part of wellbeing, not a taboo.

From pelvic floor wands that support rehabilitation to suction stimulators that help vulva owners rediscover sensation after pain or numbness, toys can be deeply healing tools for people who have lost their way when it comes to pleasure. They help people learn to trust touch again, to feel safe in their skin, and to rewrite the stories their bodies have held onto. That pleasure is accessible with a little helping hand, and everyone is deserving of it.

Connection Beyond the Bedroom

Toys can also transform how couples connect, and for some, introducing a vibrator or stroker is about curiosity and communication. For others, it’s about finding a way to create an experience of shared pleasure and excitement when things need a new lease of life.

The beauty of these tools lies in how they open new realms for connecting and staying curious about touch, pace, pressure, and presence. When used with intention, a toy becomes less about performance and more about exploration and fun, the very thing we all forget to have during sex. It invites couples to slow down, play, and co-create pleasure without pressure.

Empowerment Through Choice

There’s something powerful about choosing a toy that feels right for you. Not what’s trending on TikTok or what your partner suggests (unless you’re shopping together), but something that resonates with how you want to feel and what you want to experience in the moment.

That choice in itself is an act of autonomy. Whether it’s something small and discreet or bold and experimental, every purchase can be a reclamation of pleasure on your terms.

Pleasure Myths We’re Ditching This National Sex Toy Day

For something designed to make us feel good, sex toys sure do come with a lot of unnecessary shame and misinformation. From the idea that they’re “only for single people” to fears they’ll “replace your partner,” pleasure has been buried under layers of myth for far too long.

So, let’s clear the air and ditch a few of the biggest myths still holding people back.

Myth 1: Sex toys replace your partner.

Truth: They don’t replace connection; they enhance it. Toys can help partners learn more about each other’s bodies and find new ways to experience pleasure together. They’re in collaboration, not competition.

Myth 2: Using toys means you’re not “good in bed.”

Truth: Using a toy shows self-awareness, curiosity, and confidence, not a lack of skill. It means you’re taking ownership of your pleasure and showing your partner what works for you. That’s emotional intelligence, not inadequacy.

Myth 3: Toys are just for women.

Truth: Pleasure isn’t gendered. From prostate stimulators to vibrating rings and strokers, everyone can benefit from exploring sensation, regardless of anatomy.

Myth 4: Sex toys make you numb.

Truth: Toys don’t numb your genitals, your body can sometimes become accustomed to the sensation, but sensitivity always returns. It’s about balance and exploration, mixing sensations, pressure, and pace.

Myth 5: Toys are just for the bedroom.

Truth: Sex toys can be healing tools, too, supporting pelvic floor health, reconnecting with your body after trauma, or rediscovering desire after illness. They belong in conversations about wellbeing just as much as self-care or mental health do.

The Future of Pleasure is Yours

This National Sex Toy Day, instead of asking “Which toy should I buy?”, maybe ask: “What kind of pleasure do I want to invite into my life?”

We’re witnessing a cultural shift where sex toys are stepping out of the shadows and into the wellness mainstream. And it’s about time. Pleasure is a human experience, one that belongs in the same conversation as mental health, self-care, and embodiment.